“She agreed with all her heart, but couldn’t understand why at the very moment she said yes, Noah’s face came to her mind.”
I’ve thought of The Notebook’s engagement scene so many times since Chad died. Chad (Noah) was my first big love and so often without warning, he comes into my mind; especially with big occasions. So I figured whenever the time came, a proposal wouldn’t be any different.
Then, the day I wondered about happened without warning – Brad asked me to marry him.
Looking down at Brad on one knee, his zombie princess daughter beside us, surprise, love and adrenaline surged through me. I saw nothing but Brad and Madison in front of me for minutes.
Later, we kissed Madi goodnight as she bounced into her Mom’s car and Brad and I walked tightly, hand-in-hand back to our car. Then, I did a full body check in.
Do I feel different? What does this mean? How does this change things?!…Where was Chad?
Chad wasn’t there!
I smiled quietly – so happy not to have thought of him. On no uncontrolled, sub-conscious level did I think of Chad, eliminating the need to later consciously brush it from my mind.
For me, not having Chad come into my mind meant that on all levels, my love for Brad is pure. It’s pure and not conditional. This love is not based on our circumstances or lives before us. This isn’t second best. This, is it.
Thank you for that space Chad. That was a great gift to give.